Coaching follow up: I have a problem now!

Hi RIP readers,

this is a quick follow-up to my Friday’s post about a coaching experiment I’m going to run in January-March 2020.

I received 30+ applications in 2 days (so far).

I wasn’t expecting this!

I’ve read all of them. I started replying (just acking for now) more or less in chronological order. First come, first served.

But I have a problem:ย I can’t see myself saying “no, I won’t help you” to anyone who took time to write a heartfelt mail to me. Seriously, I’m way too emphatic. I didn’t account for that! I want to help you all ๐Ÿ˜€

Talking about help: it’s not only about you, it’s also about me! Your lives and challenges are so close mine: many midlife crises, burnout things, tough career decisions, investing dilemmas, planning for retirement, passions that can’t be postponed until 70… We’re all so similar! I’m sure I’m going to learn so much about me, and getting answers to my own questions, while trying to help you out.

So I have this problem now.

Here’s how I’m going to fix it:

First, let’s stop applications right now. Please, don’t keep applying.

I’m sorry if you missed it, if you intended to apply later (why rush, RIP said “until end of November”…) but I can’t handle more applications.

Ok, ok, if you REALLY were so close to hit the send button, and you’re going to cry if I won’t help you, send it anyway… Let’s officially set the deadline Tomorrow (Monday November 11th) at noon, 12pm, Central European Time, so that those wise guys who don’t use internet on weekends can have a chance (but if you’re really like that, you don’t need any help. You’re doing great!)

By the end of November / mid December I will pick 5-6 of you to provide the announced coaching support that will start in January, but I want to have at least a conversation, and offer my point of view / some advices, with each one of you who took time to write me an amazing email. I’ll reach you out individually after my first pass, please be patient ๐Ÿ™‚

That’s all.

Just a mini spoiler on our today’s life:

  • On Friday evening (2 days ago) we signed a lease for a new apartment. Yes, we’re leaving our cozy 50sqm ultra cheap flat and moving in a 100sqm flat, still pretty cheap for the neighborhood.ย  And it has a dishwasher, life won’t be the same anymore. The move is happening soon. November and December will be holyshitty with packing boxes, getting quotes for cleaning, painting, moving, etc… btw, if you want to give us some hints / offer help you’re more than welcome! This is my first move in Switzerland. Yep, 7 years in the same place, never moved! We’re moving 500 meters away though ๐Ÿ™‚
  • Baby RIP started child care few days ago, and as a consequence of that she’s not sleeping at night as she always used to. Mrs RIP is wondering whether we should have sent her to child care at all (she always thought that it was a necessity for Baby’s development, now she’s second thinking herself), which makes me ask myself “wait: we’re paying 900+ per month (2 full days per week) and we don’t know if it’s good for her and for us?”
  • New job, new stuff, new responsibilities, an Alexandria Library amount of new things to learn as quickly as possible. Plus on-call rotations.
  • Blog: I have reached the third digit in the category “draft posts & ideas that I want to publish on my blog”. And stealing sleep time to blog is not very healthy.
  • Health: I have reached the third digit on the weight scale… which means I need to make time for more structured physical activity. What? “A diet”? What’s the meaning of that word? I never heard about…
  • Social: Christmas is coming, relatives are coming. “Really? You change flat? We’re coming for a visit next week!”. My parents are coming next weekend, in-laws are coming the weekend after (and staying longer to help), The DIPs are coming the one after that…

My time management skills are being challenged by a horde of duties and (voluntary or not) commitments.

Hopefully this is a peak, and things will settle down somewhere in early 2020.

Everything is going to be ok ๐Ÿ˜‰

Enjoy your Sunday!

4 comments

  1. Congratulations on everything and thanks for continuing on writing. It is very nice that you want to help everyone!

    a) For the move, if you have for some overlapping period the two apartments, I would suggest start early. If you can do it yourself (with the help of some friends), you can rent a car or even a bike (!!) if you want to go the super affordable way. For bike, there is carvelo. Essentially, an electric bike with a big box in front of it where you can put stuff. Preconditions: few IKEA furniture and small things. The bulkiest object we moved was a sofa that was dismantled. The heaviest was a refrigerator. This is doable because of the short distance between the two apartments but very tiring. You will need help with dismantling/assembling furniture, unless you can spread over a long time period. For us, with help it took about 2 full days. With car it is much easier. If you use a company, take photos before the move.
    b) Before you take a decision, wait for a bit. Kids need a period of time to get adjusted. Also, donโ€™t get disappointed if babyRIP gets sick quite often now.
    d) Sleep has very high priority for me. Borrowing time from sleep comes with very high interest rate.

    1. Thanks Dimitris, we’re opting for a moving company (i’m documenting everything and will write a blog post about it) which is very cheap. We are actually doing it as “insurance” in case the new tenant won’t buy our furniture. If they do buy our furniture and we won’t have to disassemble and reassemble things, we could easily do the move on our own.
      We’re also leveraging social capital. Right now I’m using a car of a friend, and already moved ~10 boxes in the new flat this morning. In the afternoon we’ll have few friends coming to help. Social capital is the best form of wealth ๐Ÿ™‚
      Anyway, the moving company we’re hiring charges 200/hour + 600 per cleaning. Without furniture it’s less than 3 hours job, with furniture it’s 5-6 hours. We’re moving things in the meantime, so even in case we need to handle furniture we could manage to stay within 3 hours ๐Ÿ™‚
      And 1200 CHF for moving & cleaning it’s the best deal we were able to find ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Our guy took about 2 weeks to get used to the day care, but we put him in before he had separation anxiety. I hear older kids find it tougher. He now loves it but does from time to time get clingy when we drop him off.

    Personally, I think it is good for his development and to be brutally honest, the guys there are much more patient and do a much better job than me of entertaining and care. Plus, it’s too exhausting to juggle childcare and work.

    1. Older kids are definitely harder to handle in child care. And as a bonus our daughter got Hand-foot-and-mouth disease on week 2. And she’s not sleeping much. It’s a tough time. How the hell I didn’t manage to conquer the world with all the time I had before kids?? We’re savoring each free second now, what the hell did we do before?

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